Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A Reason

There's a very good reason that I don't live alone. It's because I go crazy when left alone with myself for too long. Three days is just way too much. Okay, if I have a good purpose for alone time it's one thing, but when I'm alone just because no one else is around...just not healthy.
I remember when I spent a few days alone at Bethany House on Cheung Chau. It was really wonderful. So refreshing to have time to just be on my own, to think, to pray, to walk around the beautiful island, doing my best to avoid the spiders . Unfortunately if you look at the link there isn't really any context for just how huge these things are, but believe me, when you look up and suddenly realize there are webs larger than your body hanging everywhere around you, with spiders that have bodies about 5 inches long, you really understand how disconcerting these frightening things can be. But when I was there I had a purpose. I also had lovely warm weather. I was alone because I wanted to be alone.
This week I've been alone for far longer than is healthy for me. I've been able to keep myself busy enough, but I really need human interaction to be healthy. I actually feel like I have a cold coming on, and I blame it directly on being alone. Normally people get sick from being around too many people, but despite illnesses flowing through my house frequently all year, I've only had one small cold all year. And yet now, when I'm alone, I feel like it's catching up with me. Horrible timing considering that my parents will be here tomorrow! I'm definitely ready for them to arrive and for some exciting things to take place.
I guess part of the problem is that when I sit around alone for too long I start to feel sorry for myself. I think about how everyone else is with other people. I think of how on my last two spring breaks I went on fantastic trips to London and Berlin. And then I start spending way too much time on facebook and dreaming of distant destinations and all the people I haven't seen in ages.
Clearly I need to get out of time and have a little excitement soon soon soon!
Okay, enough ranting. Time to try to motivate myself to find something to do with my time. Maybe I should start looking for jobs in Idaho...and maybe not...

No comments: