So last year I wrote up a bunch of goals for 2012. I thought I might go back and reread them as it is January again, and then I realized just how depressing that would be. They were pretty good goals, as I recall. And I didn't do any of them. Naturally, there are plenty of reasons for that. We bought a store, which sorta changed everything. All the same, I can't help but be a little dissatisfied with my performance over all.
I'm not sure I really want to set a whole lot of visible goals for myself this year. We still own a store. It takes up at least 75% of my time. There is no way to work around that. However, I do want to do better with certain things this year. I want to remember that living is still the most important part of life. It is crucial to find a way to live well, even in the midst of working for success.
Being a business person is still not the core of my being. It won't ever be. But it is the life I have now, so it's time to make the most of it. We are currently in the midst of a massive makeover project on the shop. My sweet husband has been working tirelessly to find ways to dress the place up, and searching for new inventory to make it a place we can really enjoy spending time in, rather than being filled with left overs from the previous owners, and a style that clearly reflects that it was founded in the 80s. This breath of fresh air has the potential to invigorate us and our customers in this new year.
Besides seeking to be more driven in business, it is essential that I find more ways to connect with people. Sure, I spend all day chatting with customers, but it just isn't the same as spending quality time with people. Hopefully we will find more ways to engage with friends in the area, as well as maybe getting to know some new people. A girl's got to hope.
I did join up with the Portland Bloggers list, and I would really like to attend some of their meetings this year. It would be good to network with other people in Portland, as well as having a chance to keep my writing skills in focus.
So here's to hoping that this year will be more successful, social, and balanced than the last one. Happy 2013, all :)
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Bright Spots On Gray Days
I started this post a few days ago, last week actually, then got off track, but the idea is still a good one, just tempered by time. I still haven't got the hang of the ups and downs of business ownership. People all have theories of how things will go, but I'm stuck on the daily things: hoping for sales, figuring out the bills and budget, and dealing with the surprises that come up, like having my bumper scraped up and not having an extra car to drive while it gets fixed, or suddenly having a massive crack in the door to the shop with no idea how to get it fixed.
It's moving into Fall, and I can sense the bite in the weather rapidly approaching. We've been blessed with a few more days of warm sunny weather, but if I know anything about life in Western Oregon, the gray rainy weather will sweep in soon. My mood is quickly turned by the bleaker months, so it is good to look for the bright spots.
Here are just a few from recent days:
A surprise firework I saw blossom in the gray sky, solitary and beautiful on a midweek evening.
A visit from some of my parents oldest friends at the shop. The wife, Jeanie, used to be a postal worker and was delighted to see me with a post office of my own.
A family game night with Jessie's family.
Meeting a new friend who I formerly knew only by blog reading.
Setting up all the new Halloween merchandise.
The little things can make all the difference. This evening it was the sweetness of my husband writing me a card with the insistence that I schedule a real massage. Yes, I got all teared up at that one.
All these things remind me of how important it is to stay positive. I lean on the side of worry and occasionally, despair. It is easy for me to get down, but there is so much more to life than the gray days. People come in every day, and I have the chance to be a bright spot in their days. Whether I am merely the vehicle to their purchase of joy, or being genuinely interested in what they have to say, I can give something to them, and just knowing that shines a light in my world as well.
Oh, and I almost forgot the amazing sunset tonight. Had me so transfixed I had trouble keeping my eyes on the road. Apparently nature is as dangerous as texting...
It's moving into Fall, and I can sense the bite in the weather rapidly approaching. We've been blessed with a few more days of warm sunny weather, but if I know anything about life in Western Oregon, the gray rainy weather will sweep in soon. My mood is quickly turned by the bleaker months, so it is good to look for the bright spots.
Here are just a few from recent days:
A surprise firework I saw blossom in the gray sky, solitary and beautiful on a midweek evening.
A visit from some of my parents oldest friends at the shop. The wife, Jeanie, used to be a postal worker and was delighted to see me with a post office of my own.
A family game night with Jessie's family.
Meeting a new friend who I formerly knew only by blog reading.
Setting up all the new Halloween merchandise.
The little things can make all the difference. This evening it was the sweetness of my husband writing me a card with the insistence that I schedule a real massage. Yes, I got all teared up at that one.
All these things remind me of how important it is to stay positive. I lean on the side of worry and occasionally, despair. It is easy for me to get down, but there is so much more to life than the gray days. People come in every day, and I have the chance to be a bright spot in their days. Whether I am merely the vehicle to their purchase of joy, or being genuinely interested in what they have to say, I can give something to them, and just knowing that shines a light in my world as well.
Oh, and I almost forgot the amazing sunset tonight. Had me so transfixed I had trouble keeping my eyes on the road. Apparently nature is as dangerous as texting...
Sunday, July 22, 2012
The Quest for Beauty
My life is full of routines. It's a must really. I depend on routine in order to be certain that important things are accomplished. I function best when I have a schedule. It is far to easy to become complacent and lazy when I don't have a clear view of what needs to be done.
But when life becomes routine, even when busy, it is easy to lapse into a different form or complacency. Things become mundane, and beauty is lost. I may not be the girliest of girls, but I do have an appreciation for beauty, and a need to experience it in my life on a regular basis.
Recently, I have become enamored with the blog of a friend of mine that I met in Hong Kong. We weren't particularly close, but we attended the same church and hung out together in groups. But I never really got to know her well. As most people realize, Facebook has made it possible to connect with the people you never really got to know very well, or knew once upon a time, but lost track of. A post here and there pops up, and occasionally leads to a new development in that relationship. This is one of those cases.
I started reading her blog and found myself transported to a world where beauty still exists. She posts beautiful pictures, and writes about lovely things. Something about going there just feels lavish. I needed that. Just a little jolt of something more to remind me that life in this moment is precious, and there is still beauty in this world.
I drive a lot these days. It takes about an hour to get to work one way. On most evenings, as I exit I-5 and head onto 99, I pass a man holding a sign "Laid Off, Now Homeless. I want to work. Anything helps." The patterns of my life, the routines of my existence, have taught me to be high suspicious of such people. I know there are jobs out there to be had. They might not be dream jobs, but they're better than standing on the street. I know there are organizations designed to help people in such situations. Churches, homeless shelters, etc. go out of their way to serve the least of these. I also know that a large number of these people just want to score easy money to support their detrimental habits.
The truth is, I've seen at least three different men working this intersection. One is young and his posture reeks of cockiness. Another is probably in his late fifties, and seems more suited to a motorcycle than anything else. The the third man has always had a look about him that made me wonder...
One of my chief concerns is to avoid enabling people like this to continue down a destructive path. I won't hand out money. But the other day I was parked only a few from him, and I knew I had an orange in my bag. So I rolled down my window and called out to the man, "Would you like an orange?"
His response was immediate, and his gratitude clearly evident. "I would love an orange," he said with utmost sincerity. He walked over to the car and I handed it to him with a smile. The truth is, we aren't flush with money right now in the slightest. I could have used that orange. But the beauty I experienced in that small gesture was truly explosive. He returned to his post and slipped the small orange into his nap sack. I rolled up my window. The light turned green, and as I began to roll forward he made eye contact and mouthed a silent "Thank You."
My eyes flooded with tears as I moved on. I don't know how he ended up on that corner. I don't know what he really needs to get himself into a better place. But he took an orange from my hand, and passed beauty back to me.
There is not enough beauty in the world, but if you open your eyes, it does still exist, even on the worst of days.
But when life becomes routine, even when busy, it is easy to lapse into a different form or complacency. Things become mundane, and beauty is lost. I may not be the girliest of girls, but I do have an appreciation for beauty, and a need to experience it in my life on a regular basis.
Recently, I have become enamored with the blog of a friend of mine that I met in Hong Kong. We weren't particularly close, but we attended the same church and hung out together in groups. But I never really got to know her well. As most people realize, Facebook has made it possible to connect with the people you never really got to know very well, or knew once upon a time, but lost track of. A post here and there pops up, and occasionally leads to a new development in that relationship. This is one of those cases.
I started reading her blog and found myself transported to a world where beauty still exists. She posts beautiful pictures, and writes about lovely things. Something about going there just feels lavish. I needed that. Just a little jolt of something more to remind me that life in this moment is precious, and there is still beauty in this world.
I drive a lot these days. It takes about an hour to get to work one way. On most evenings, as I exit I-5 and head onto 99, I pass a man holding a sign "Laid Off, Now Homeless. I want to work. Anything helps." The patterns of my life, the routines of my existence, have taught me to be high suspicious of such people. I know there are jobs out there to be had. They might not be dream jobs, but they're better than standing on the street. I know there are organizations designed to help people in such situations. Churches, homeless shelters, etc. go out of their way to serve the least of these. I also know that a large number of these people just want to score easy money to support their detrimental habits.
The truth is, I've seen at least three different men working this intersection. One is young and his posture reeks of cockiness. Another is probably in his late fifties, and seems more suited to a motorcycle than anything else. The the third man has always had a look about him that made me wonder...
One of my chief concerns is to avoid enabling people like this to continue down a destructive path. I won't hand out money. But the other day I was parked only a few from him, and I knew I had an orange in my bag. So I rolled down my window and called out to the man, "Would you like an orange?"
His response was immediate, and his gratitude clearly evident. "I would love an orange," he said with utmost sincerity. He walked over to the car and I handed it to him with a smile. The truth is, we aren't flush with money right now in the slightest. I could have used that orange. But the beauty I experienced in that small gesture was truly explosive. He returned to his post and slipped the small orange into his nap sack. I rolled up my window. The light turned green, and as I began to roll forward he made eye contact and mouthed a silent "Thank You."
My eyes flooded with tears as I moved on. I don't know how he ended up on that corner. I don't know what he really needs to get himself into a better place. But he took an orange from my hand, and passed beauty back to me.
There is not enough beauty in the world, but if you open your eyes, it does still exist, even on the worst of days.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Oh The People You'll Meet
Life is such a random trip sometimes. You never know when someone will walk into your life carrying poetry in their hearts. Or when an appreciative eye will recognize a work of art correctly positioned. It's a slow day in the shoppe, but it has lent itself well to interesting conversations.
A woman came in, noticed the poet stamps, and quoted William Carlos Williams. It's amazing how much really does depend on a red wheelbarrow... It led to a discussion of the usefulness of English degrees, as well as how they suck a bit of joy out of vapid reading... And it brought a spark of joy to my soul. Somehow it served to remind me that the lives we live matter, even on days when we seem insignificant. Her day had fallen behind schedule, but she spent a good twenty minutes just chatting with me about the joys of literature and learning. I felt somehow elevated.
Sometimes it seems that every day I'm reminded more and more how little I know, and what a dramatically huge step I've taken into uncertainty by buying a business. I don't know squat about running a business. Filing taxes is a deep dark dread that makes me quiver. A calendar of the Czech Republic on the wall at home, and a week spent watching an episode of Prostreno every night on the computer, reminds me of other lives lived, and how very distant that relatively care free life is now removed from my future.
Poetry, however, has not been forgotten. And the bits of art that are cropping up on the walls reminds me that there is beauty all around, just waiting to be expanded upon. Even in the face of gargantuan uncertainty there hope quietly sprouts in my heart, like the radishes and peas, cilantro and mint in our tiny clay soil garden.
A woman came in, noticed the poet stamps, and quoted William Carlos Williams. It's amazing how much really does depend on a red wheelbarrow... It led to a discussion of the usefulness of English degrees, as well as how they suck a bit of joy out of vapid reading... And it brought a spark of joy to my soul. Somehow it served to remind me that the lives we live matter, even on days when we seem insignificant. Her day had fallen behind schedule, but she spent a good twenty minutes just chatting with me about the joys of literature and learning. I felt somehow elevated.
Sometimes it seems that every day I'm reminded more and more how little I know, and what a dramatically huge step I've taken into uncertainty by buying a business. I don't know squat about running a business. Filing taxes is a deep dark dread that makes me quiver. A calendar of the Czech Republic on the wall at home, and a week spent watching an episode of Prostreno every night on the computer, reminds me of other lives lived, and how very distant that relatively care free life is now removed from my future.
Poetry, however, has not been forgotten. And the bits of art that are cropping up on the walls reminds me that there is beauty all around, just waiting to be expanded upon. Even in the face of gargantuan uncertainty there hope quietly sprouts in my heart, like the radishes and peas, cilantro and mint in our tiny clay soil garden.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Psalms of Ascent
I've been doing a Bible study this year by Beth Moore. I've often found that it's easier for me to go deeper into God's word if I have some sort of guide to follow. So often when I read over the familiar words on the pages of the Bible my mind drifts. Rather than seeing the deeper truths, rather than letting the words saturate my heart, I find myself doing it more for the sake of doing it, for remaining in the discipline, rather than really finding anything life changing on the pages.
I've really been enjoying this particular book that I've been using. Partly because at the end of each unit there is a little creative writing segment. The goal is to rewrite the Psalm that has been studied into a more personal format. When I went on Teen Missions back in 1996 (scary long time ago) each member of the team was responsible for leading Bible study at least once during the summer. Being the person I've always been, I opted to take a Psalm and paraphrase it, then I had all my teammates do likewise with a really short Psalm. Not sure if it was right up all their alleys, but they did it all the same and I enjoyed myself. Therefore, I've been quite excited to have the opportunity to do the same thing with these studies. I'm not trying to say I've created a new translation in the process of putting things into my own words. I've just made it all sink a little deeper into my head by going through the study and adding my feelings into the words.
I think the Psalms are the best part of the Bible to do this with. While it can be helpful to look intensely into what is being said everywhere in the Bible, the Psalms are the most human part of God's word. They're the place where man gives vent to his thoughts, frustrations, hopes, dreams, and innermost feelings. The psalmists poured everything into this beautiful poetry. Likewise, I enjoy taking their words and imagining how I would say the same things, how my heart would cry out in the circumstances of my own days. So I thought it might be interesting to share some of my Psalms of Ascent here as well. I won't say that they're exactly paralleling what is going on in my life at the moment. They're more in response to the original words, and how they echo in my head after studying them. So here's Psalm 120:
In my distress I called to the Lord,
and He answered me:
"Lord deliver me from lying lips
and a deceitful tongue."
What will He give you,
and what will He do to you,
you deceitful tongue?
A warrior's sharp arrows,
with burning charcoal!
What misery that I have stayed in Meshech,
that I have lived among the tents of Kedar!
I have lived to long
with those who hate peace.
I am for peace; but when I speak,
they are for war.
And now for my version:
I cry out to God,
I who am miserable,
Buried amongst deceit
I cry out empty and await His answer.
Those who have lied,
Those who have mistreated
They shall get their reward,
But it is not mine to repay their misery with misery.
I've dwelt long in their darkness
Allowing their mind games and
manipulation to torture me.
It's hard to see the reason for so much abuse.
All I ask is for a cease fire
For us to be reasonable and at peace.
But they insist upon continued dissent.
They refuse to hear my plea.
Okay, so maybe this first one isn't exactly uplifting. A bit of a downer really, but it's only the beginning of the journey. A place to start looking forward to a better time, a safer place. And it's always good to be reminded that God wants to hear everything that is in our hearts. He wants us to feel free to come to Him with everything that is within us. Naturally, His desire is for our hearts to be turned to praise, but that isn't possible every moment of every day. So He takes us as we come. Broken and bruised, or thankful and jubilant. These are the sort of things that uplift me.
I've really been enjoying this particular book that I've been using. Partly because at the end of each unit there is a little creative writing segment. The goal is to rewrite the Psalm that has been studied into a more personal format. When I went on Teen Missions back in 1996 (scary long time ago) each member of the team was responsible for leading Bible study at least once during the summer. Being the person I've always been, I opted to take a Psalm and paraphrase it, then I had all my teammates do likewise with a really short Psalm. Not sure if it was right up all their alleys, but they did it all the same and I enjoyed myself. Therefore, I've been quite excited to have the opportunity to do the same thing with these studies. I'm not trying to say I've created a new translation in the process of putting things into my own words. I've just made it all sink a little deeper into my head by going through the study and adding my feelings into the words.
I think the Psalms are the best part of the Bible to do this with. While it can be helpful to look intensely into what is being said everywhere in the Bible, the Psalms are the most human part of God's word. They're the place where man gives vent to his thoughts, frustrations, hopes, dreams, and innermost feelings. The psalmists poured everything into this beautiful poetry. Likewise, I enjoy taking their words and imagining how I would say the same things, how my heart would cry out in the circumstances of my own days. So I thought it might be interesting to share some of my Psalms of Ascent here as well. I won't say that they're exactly paralleling what is going on in my life at the moment. They're more in response to the original words, and how they echo in my head after studying them. So here's Psalm 120:
In my distress I called to the Lord,
and He answered me:
"Lord deliver me from lying lips
and a deceitful tongue."
What will He give you,
and what will He do to you,
you deceitful tongue?
A warrior's sharp arrows,
with burning charcoal!
What misery that I have stayed in Meshech,
that I have lived among the tents of Kedar!
I have lived to long
with those who hate peace.
I am for peace; but when I speak,
they are for war.
And now for my version:
I cry out to God,
I who am miserable,
Buried amongst deceit
I cry out empty and await His answer.
Those who have lied,
Those who have mistreated
They shall get their reward,
But it is not mine to repay their misery with misery.
I've dwelt long in their darkness
Allowing their mind games and
manipulation to torture me.
It's hard to see the reason for so much abuse.
All I ask is for a cease fire
For us to be reasonable and at peace.
But they insist upon continued dissent.
They refuse to hear my plea.
Okay, so maybe this first one isn't exactly uplifting. A bit of a downer really, but it's only the beginning of the journey. A place to start looking forward to a better time, a safer place. And it's always good to be reminded that God wants to hear everything that is in our hearts. He wants us to feel free to come to Him with everything that is within us. Naturally, His desire is for our hearts to be turned to praise, but that isn't possible every moment of every day. So He takes us as we come. Broken and bruised, or thankful and jubilant. These are the sort of things that uplift me.
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