Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Short timer

I've come to the point again where I'm a short timer. It always puts me in a strange mood. Regardless of the life change, it's always somewaht disconcerting. I'm back in the land of the unemployed. My future is once again up in the air. Having always been the sort of person who enjoys a certain amount of control over things, a wide safety net and all of that, I have to admit I'm a bit uneasy. I'm sure things will all work out, and of course I'm excited about the travel that's about to happen, but it's hard not to let the concerns and worries of this life crop up.
For some reason I'm suddenly reminded of this article in one of my old English teaching books about this man who just decided to give up everything and live in the woods. He still had a job, still had friends and family, but he slept in the woods in his one suit and that was pretty much it. I'm not sure what all he was trying to prove, but the fact of the matter is that he did it. He went out and just slept on the ground and cooked food in a pot over a fire like a classical hobo. Of course he also still had connections to technology and wrote a blog about it as well. I just can't imagine having that sort of dream.
Granted, it's equally hard for me to imagine the life I see lived on HGTV. These young couples just starting out and buying expensive homes that I could never even concieve of being able to afford. They nit pick about absoultely everything. I saw an episode of "House Hunters International" where this girl was moving to Abu Dhabi, and she kept complianing about the tile on the floors, like that having ugly floors would ruin her entire experience there. Still a lot better than sleeping on the ground, right?
I know I'm not likely to be buying a house or sleeping on the ground anytime soon, it's just that my head is a bit of a mess. I have to pack, both for my trip and also for moving, and my motivation is at an all time low. I'm not really even sure why. I just can't manage to get myself to get anything done. I just want to play with my iPad, or read a book, or stare mindlessly out the window. I've been getting little things done. I've finally finished my thank you cards, but I still have wedding pictures I need to send to people. All these little things that aren't hard to do, but I can't seem to get them done. (sigh)
Anyhow, I am excited about the trip. It will be lovely to be in Czech again; to see family and friends, to experience the culture and the history, to eat a few different kinds of food (much more for Mark's benefit than mine) and just to get a different view of life. I just wish my bags would pack myself, my life would magically get itself in order, and my motivation would return with the boundless energy of a three year old. I know, asking a lot, but a girl's gotta try.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Two Weeks Notice...

I feel like my job status is endlessly in transition these days as well. Right after getting my promotion, I've now had to give my two weeks notice that I'm quitting. I don't regret taking the job for the short term. It has helped the store out, as well as providing me with more hours, higher pay and a greater range of job experience over the past couple of months. Of course the fact that I've worked CLOSE every single day that I've had this job is pretty annoying. Okay, that's slightly wrong. I was the mid shift one day I think. But otherwise I've had to close by myself since I started working in the Moscow store. That's not exactly cool. Especially since previously I was working only in the mornings.
I haven't actually talked to the store manager yet, that'll come today in a few hours (ugh) but I told the assistant manager. She fully understood, and I think I should still be able to get a good reference, as well as possibly being able to get a job at the same store over in Oregon when we come back. Not sure if I really want that, but it's always good to have options.
So two weeks from Saturday (that's Nov 19th) I'll work my final shift. While I'm totally ready to move on, and really excited about our trip back to Czech, it's also a bit nerve wracking to know that I'll be unemployed once more. Not really my favorite way to be. I pretty much abhor having everything up in the air. I like plans, and having everything lined up and in place. Right now I'm looking at a black hole sort of future again, and, quite frankly, that freaks me out.
It's one of those times when I have to pull back again and remind myself that God is in control, and while I don't have all the answers, he certainly does. I know the road might still be far from easy, but He will make all things right in His perfect timing. Just have to count on that to get me through.
Which reminds me, I got an absolutely lovely gift box from my friends Amy and Nate. Included in the box was a book about Creative Worship from my old church in Hong Kong, The Vine. It's a great workbook, focused on using all aspects of creativity to worship God. I really appreciate that it stresses how music is not the only outlet we can use for worship. This is especially poignant since the main author of the book is married to the music leader at the church. Anyhow, quite a few of my friends were involved in the project, and I'm so excited to see how God will use this book in my life. It's been a hard and strange disconnected sort of year. I feel unsettled and distracted at best, so it's great to revive a little focus in my life.
Here's to the next chapter about to begin...