If there is any reality behind the "theory of Groundhog's Day," I can only hope that it does not extend beyond the borders of the United States. The little corner of Europe where I've been hanging out most of the winter has been attacked by a vicious coldfront this week. The temperature this morning when I drug myself out of bed to make my lovely husband coffee? -17 C (translates to about 1F) Yes, folks, nippy would be an understatment.
In contrast with these sub freezing temperatures, the sun is shining and it looks beautiful outside. One step into the wind, however, and you're instantly left wondering what could possibly have possessed you to think that going outside was a good idea. So, clearly, I'm hoping that the dire predictions of 6 more weeks of winter don't take affect here. I'm not excited by the idea of freezing excessively for the last few weeks that we're here in Czech.
In other news, I've spent a chunk of today looking into different publishing options. What a tangled web that is! With my recent book through the first round of editing, and into the hands of a few interested pre-readers already (others potentially interested in having a go with a critique can contact me and we'll chat about what I'm looking for) it is time to start the next phase of the prospect.
I can't deny that I'm a chicken when it comes to things like this. When I was in high school I wrote a couple of novels. The first one I actually sent out to publishers with stars in my eyes. The little stack of rejection letters, mostly forms, but at least one with a hand written encouragement of sorts, were enough to let me know that publishing isn't for the faint hearted. It's not just that I don't do very well with critiques, it's more that rejection is a bitter pill to swallow. I have no connections in the publishing world. I've read this and that about options, from finding an agent to self-publising, and in the end, I'm left with a spinning head and an upset stomach.
It could be that I'm just lazy. I don't relish the task of hunting down someone who is going to champion my writing to it's fullest potential. It is definitely true that I have that fear of rejection thing hanging around my neck. Regardless of the number of times I've read something and though, I could do better than that, I have nothing to show for it. I'm not a little girl anymore, dreaming of what I might be when I grow up. I'm a full fledged married adult who still hasn't figured out how to get a decent job or publish a book... Pathetic.
I don't want to let my dreams of being a published author die, but neither do I want to rush out and make a poorly informed decision. I've checked out a lot of self publishing sights, but for all that they claim, I haven't heard of any of their books. And since I haven't even figured out how to get the people I know to consistently read my blog updates, how can I expect total strangers to decide to not just pick up a book I wrote, but to actually pay good money for it. The very thought baffles me beyond belief.
Working myself into a frenzy isn't very difficult. It would be great if we lived in a world of dreams come true, where all you have to do is put yourself out there and things will magically happen. But that is not the world we live in. We live in a fallen world of shattered hopes and endless fears. I don't want to become a victim to my own insecurities, but I also don't want to make any foolish mistakes.
For now, I guess, I'll just keep looking at my options and trying to stay warm until this Arctic chill blows over.