Wednesday, September 9, 2009

A Link with Reality

Feeling a little out of touch. A little disjointed and all over the place. I was thinking of lines to write, ways to express my current place in life, in time. Things are going well. I mean classes are all okay. I've made it through the first full week of classes, and now things are starting to fall into place. Students are great and entertaining, and pushing the limits as usual. Let me just say that sometimes asking students to just write down all the parts of the body they know on the board is not the best way to get the ball rolling. Especially when the class is predominately male...hmmm...but such is life. I also made the mistake of handing a low level class a worksheet I'd just pulled off my desk without really looking at. After they'd asked for a couple of vocab words on the sheet, I looked more closely and realized it was the Upper Intermediate version instead of the Pre-Intermediate one I'd meant to give them. Oops. Just goes to show you really do need to pay a little attention when throwing lessons together.
I'm not totally sure why my head is in such a fog. The weather outside is amazing today. I feel the need to soak up every moment in the sun that I can before it goes away and is replaced by the curl-up-in-your-bed-all-day-and-sleep-gray. But the hours fly by and I find it hard to fit everything in. I'm trying to keep on top of things, but obviously it's taken me more than a week to add to my blog, which I really should be keeping on top of better. I'll be needing to get a newsletter out soon, to connect with the greater part of the world. Instead I pine for hours in my journal. The need to express to myself and to God the things I'm trying to think about.
For those who don't know, I have a new boyfriend. It's a first, and it is something unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life. He's Czech, which adds all sorts of elements to things. We come from different worlds, different family backgrounds, different callings to faith. He does love Jesus, and that is a beautiful thing. It is what really pulls us closer together. But there are so many things to figure out and to discuss and to try to make sense of. And it's amazing the sheer quantity of time that being in a relationship takes! I want to spend those spare moments with him that I can, but it's extra difficult because he lives in a different town and we have to rely solely on public transport and momentary scheduling connections. It's really good, but also difficult.
I've also got a new team to try to connect with and make time for. Not to mention my classes, as well as my job as a CA. I've only been back for two weeks and I'm already having trouble seeing how everything will ever balance out and fall into some semblance of solidity.
But I'm happy too. I don't want this to come across as some sort of complaint. It's really not that. It's more an attempt to explain the state of my head as it floats in a cloud of moments that it doesn't totally know how to sort. I think this year has potential to be really great, I just need to figure out how to keep everything in order, to find balance and meaning, as well as a great connection to the Giver of all good things. It's only in His hands that I find strength and understanding.
So it's a beautiful afternoon here in Cheb, Czech Republic. I have a job that I enjoy, a community of friends, and an incredible man who really loves me. How did I fall into this life? Hard to say. All I know is that God remains in control, and that is the only way I'll figure things out!

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Thanks for sharing.