Employed!

Well, I probably shouldn't jump the gun too much, after all I still have to pass the background check, but I think it's pretty safe to say that I finally (sigh) got a job. I'm curious to see what it will be like to work in retail. I've had such an odd assortment of jobs in the past and it only seems right to squeeze in a little retail as well. Makes me look more well rounded. I could tell they were a bit nervous looking at my jumpy background, but seemed to think I had the stuff stock shelves and keep the place in shape. My job history doesn't even go back far enough to cover things like my time working as a maid or in the mill, but I guess I looked competent enough to help unload boxes off of trucks. My open availability was a bit positive aspect as well. In a college town it's difficult to find people who have such open schedules.
Mark and I had a great trip to Seeley Lake, Montana this weekend. The place my parents are currently staying is really beautiful. There are beautiful lakes and breath taking mountains to be seen when the sky clears up. It didn't clear up much the two days we were around, but we were able to see a wee bit here and there. We also had a chance to observe some of the many white tail deer that seem to nearly blanket the countryside. They're quite different from the black tail variety I'm used to on the West Coast. These deer have foxy like tails that are nearly long enough to look like they're wagging when they run a bit. Dad told me that when they get nervous and break into a serious run they stick straight up so you can see the fluffy white underside. I didn't ever see them in that much action. In fact, when we were driving out we had one stroll ever so leisurely right across the road in front of us that if I hadn't slowed down super early I likely would have bumped it. She was just taking her sweet time.
The deer also wander about through their open yard. There's some code in the part of Seeley Lake where they live that prohibits building fences so the space around the house is open to all the other very fancy log cabin style masterpieces. They're definitely built for the aesthetic appeal while having plush insides quite contrary to the original settler cabins in the area. Anyhow, the deer just mosey right on by. One mother and her baby were clearly looking for handouts. They came right up close and the mama ate some strawberries right by the stairs to the patio. Pretty cute. I did take some pictures, but I haven't managed to figure out how to get them from my phone to my computer just yet. I need to get some help from my Love for that. I did manage to download a ton of pictures from my camera that span back to our flight from Czech. Hmmm....guess that means it's been a while since I posted any photos. I need to go through them a bit more and maybe I'll do a picture post in the near future to backlog the past 5 months. Hard to believe we've been here so long already, but at the same time it really does feel like it's been ages.
Hopefully we'll have a chance to get back up to Montana before Mom and Dad leave so we can visit Glacier Nat'l Park and take more pictures. This trip was so quick that we didn't really have much chance anyway.
I think that about wraps things up for now. I'm definitely feeling relieved that the job search seems to be at an end for the present. I'll be sure to fill more in once I know all the details of what my career at Ross Dress For Less will entail. As long as there are some fashion perks I'm sure it won't be all that bad :)

Nerves and Question Marks...

Heading out for my interview in about an hour. Not much time to pull my thoughts all together and to remind myself that I'm a competent, confident professional who enjoys discount fashion and cheap journals as well as interacting with the public and fellow employees on a daily basis. All of these things are true after all.
Today Adelia had a big report to give in her class at school. She had the project in plenty of time to get it all done, but playing, or burying her nose in a book about cats, is far more appealing to her than getting things done for school. Procrastination. I taught her that word just yesterday as she was sobbing about how she had no time to get it all done, it was just to much, and heaven forbid she had to stand up and talk in front of 22 people. Not that I can't understand that there is some pressure in such a situation, but the dramatics were pushing the envelope to be sure. Hard to reason with someone in such a state, so I let her be to continue putting it all off to the last minute when her dad could deal with it. Definitely best to let him work through that mess.
Anyhow, there is a point to this story. On our walk back from dropping the kids off for school Julie was saying how Adelia did manage to get it all taken care of in the end, and if she could just channel her inner confidence she would have no trouble giving her presentation (even with 22 sets of eyes all focused on her). It made me think of how I need to find some way to harness all my potential from years of teaching professional adults, and use that to help things move in the right direction with this interview. Not that I'm going to let myself slip into my teacher voice and persona, but just that relaxed sort of professionalism that exudes confidence, even when I don't fully know what to say or do. Maybe she'll ask me to explain some illusive grammar point and I can prove my usefulness to the fashion world...or maybe not. Either way, I'm down to about half an hour before I should head out so it's probably time to move along and get ready for the next step.
Oh, and Julie went to Adelia's presentation and said it went off without a hitch, so all is well and once again the eleventh hour slap job has saved the day. Too bad she got into this habit so young. I didn't settle into that sort of thinking until college when I ceased to see the point in writing a paper earlier than the day before it was due since I kept getting A's on things written in a matter of 2 to 4 hours. Ah well. Win some lose some I guess.

Interview!

Well, at long last I've made it beyond the digital copy of information and I get to have an actual interview. It's been so long since I've had a normal job interview that I'm a bit uncertain how to prepare for it all, but hopefully I still have what it takes to impress. I've got my clothes all laid out and ready, and I've thought about all the reasons I love shopping at Ross and how even my weaknesses can turn to strengths for the company and all of that good stuff. But at least I have a fighting chance to get closer to having a job.
I have to say I'm not too certain about this new era of job applications. Not that handing in my handwriting is a big seller for my ability to do the job, but at least when you do things in person they can really tell that you're serious and interested and not just sitting around your house all day, which is exactly what I have been doing.
We're also planning to take a little trip to see my parents this weekend. It should be nice to get out and move around a bit and check things out in Seeley, Montana. I've driven through Montana several times, but never actually stayed there at all. We'll only be there for a couple of days, but it should be fun. Maybe I'll even take some pictures as well.
Hard to believe that April is already half way over. Again the time proceeds to unravel before my very eyes. Strange to think that when I was a kid a six hour drive seemed positively endless, and now it looks like a quick drive. Amazing how things change.

CupCakeFlop...

I know there are a lot of people out there who have trouble believing that being a housewife, homemaker, stay at home Mom, or what have you can be a real job. I remember once when I was doing a lesson on job values with a class they were supposed to evaluate each job based on a number of different criteria. They were based on things from level of importance, salary, difficulty, etc. One of the jobs included on the list was "housewife." I was curious to see where my Czech students would rate this career choice on their priority lists. In a country where they pride themselves on their work ethic and allow three years of maternity leave followed by instant enrollment into "kindergarten" I had the feeling that most of them wouldn't be able to see the importance of staying at home to raise your own children. The funny thing was that they went a step further than I had even expected, basically assuming that this was a made up job title. They had no concept of what a housewife could possibly be.
I know that in our world of enlightenment and liberation, there are a lot of women who find the belief that they would even want to stay home insulting. They have fought so long and hard for the right to be out there making a living so they can afford to pay for the highest quality childcare. I'm not at all saying that women shouldn't be allowed to work or anything like that. If that's your drive and your dream, go for it. All I know is that, if I ever have kids, I want to be able to stay at home with them. Not just because I want to be the one who raises my children, but because, even without children, this taking care of the house business is excessively time consuming.
I've taken care of myself for a goodly long time now. I'm pretty low maintenance. I like my place to be clean. I like to eat mostly healthy food. These things aren't that hard to manage for a person alone. But you add just one more person into the equation and suddenly it seems to take every waking moment just to manage things. And I still don't even have a "job."
On Sunday I decided I wanted to add one more thing into the mix and make cupcakes. Basically that meant I didn't cook any other meals in the day so I was able to do this project. Honestly, I have no concept of how people end up with multiple meals on the table every day without literally spending all their time in the kitchen. Rachel Ray might claim there's something called a "30-Minute Meal" but I'm quite convinced that belong prepackaged salad or PB and J sandwiches, if you're trying to feed more than yourself it takes an excessive amount of time!
Anyhow, I did find the recipe for these little goodies in the Rachel Ray magazine and they didn't look too terribly difficult so I thought I'd give them a go. There were two parts to this recipe. One was a batter that could be used for multiple dishes and the other was the recipe that the batter was to be added to. It looked simple enough.
The recipe was supposed to make 6 cupcakes which I thought was rather silly because who only makes 6 cupcakes? Besides, I've watched enough Cup Cake Wars to feel like they can't be all that hard. Right? So I was going to double the recipe. The only thing was, I just needed to double part two, not the batter part. But naturally I doubled the batter bit and then realized how stupid I'd been.
However, since this batter had multiple applications I thought, if nothing else, I could make myself pancakes instead of just eating a mini bowl of yogurt at some point during the week. Only problem was, when I went to add my cupcake ingredients I dumped them in the batter. That might not sound like such a big deal, but with the doubled cupcake ingredients I only needed two cups of the batter, and I dumped them right into 5 cups. Not being accomplished in baking rescue missions, I was in a bit of a quandary. I didn't have enough ingredients to quadruple the cupcake bit, so I just threw in some extra flour so it wouldn't be a soupy mess, and decided to throw it in the oven anyway. The result? Big fluffy Muffcakes I think would be the best description. They're pretty eggy, and definitely not cakey enough to fall into the cupcake category. It was an interesting experiment to say the least, and once again shows that just being enough to read isn't enough to save you when you lose the ability to concentrate and reason and all of that good stuff. They still tasted okay, but calling them weird would be a bit of an understatement.
So the battle over capturing life and making it my own continues. I still feel like I haven't a clue how to manage it all. But I'm trying. I honestly am.
Tonight's plan is to make fajitas. Let's just say the ball is mostly in Julie's court but I'll do what I can to assist.

Wasting Away

Time. It's one of those things that are just so difficult to gauge. There are times when it seems to fly due to busyness. There aren't enough hours in the day to get all the things done that need to be taken care of. There are other times when you realize it's disappeared but nothing has really been accomplished.
I always find it interesting at the beginning of any experience when days are easily measured. When I start a new job, move some place new, start a new project, each day really feels like an accomplishment. I can tell you the number or days, or even hours, that I've been tackling a certain task. But generally after a week or two the blur factor sets in. It's no longer so easy to separate what happens from one day to the next, and suddenly six months have passed.
I've fallen into one of those slumps where the days seem to evaporate before my eyes, I feel like I'm working hard on "something" but I can't really tell exactly what. Partly I'm filling out pointless job applications seeing as how I never get a call back. I find myself caught in momentary bursts of inspiration, only to notice several days later that nothing seems to have come of it all.
I've also experienced a strange sort of disconnect with life. While I seem to have gotten back into the swing of blogging, my e-mail in-boxes are jam packed with messages I don't even know how to deal with. Not only are there still pages of ads and such that are tied to wedding planning (sign up for one helpful service and suddenly they're all after you) and job applications, but there are also letters from friends that I should find some way to respond to, but somehow don't seem capable of doing it. It's not even that I don't have time, but that I seem incapable of knowing where to even start, so I just don't start.
I think that's a good way to look at my life right now in general. There are so many things I could be doing, but I just get so overwhelmed by the sheer number of possibilities that I don't do much of anything. I read a little here, write a little there, help out in the kitchen, but have trouble really assessing what I've managed to do when I get to the end of the day.
I've long been aware that structure is important to my life. I work best when I have a plan and just know what is going to happen next, but I'm at a loss to know how to create a schedule when I have no idea what I really need to be doing. I know I need a job, but seem incapable of making that dream a reality. I know people are going to need food, but find myself craving my easy world where I made myself a fruit salad and felt like I'd done something good because I was happy with it. Everything in my world seems to have turned into some sloppy mess that is, as usual, completely out of my control.
So the time is blurring, and I'm ready to feel like I'm doing something for the greater good and not just sitting around and expanding. (sigh)

McWeddings...

Whilst casually flipping through the newest edition of Everyday with Rachel Ray I found a full page ad talking about the newest HK trend. Okay, it might not have hit trend level just yet, but I was still rather astounded by the very thought, and how much my husband would find it desirable. Hard to believe, but true. You can actually book a McDonalds wedding where they even provide things like "themed invitations" and a fabulous wedding "feast." The downside, if there could possibly be one, is that the restaurants are still open to the public, so you might be sitting there in your stunning gown and suddenly find a random person sitting right next to you dripping ice cream everywhere.
I remember when I first moved to HK how strange it was when people you didn't know would join your table at a restaurant. It's the sort of thing that American's with their need for a certain kind of privacy and personal space would never dream of doing. Funny how we think we need this personal body bubble, and yet we'll post things all over facebook... anyhow, I just found the whole thing rather amusing and absurd all at the same time.
My list of jobs applied to, in case your keeping track, now includes FedEx and Safeway. I actually think the Safeway Courtesy Clerk would be a sweet gig. I could bag groceries with a smile, and whisk them out to peoples' cars so I could feel all neighborly and helpful. Anything for a paycheck.
In other news, paperwork is tedious and frustrating because they can't ever just easily tell you exactly what they want on everything. I have become the queen of making coffee (seriously Starbucks, you're missing out!). I need to do laundry and clean out the refrigerator, especially since tomorrow is garbage day. That probably means the dead bird needs to be removed from the front lawn as well. I have achieved more crock pot wonder, but still feel incompetent when it comes to all things kitchen. Walks with the kids are getting me out of bed in the morning, and Rowan's imagination continues to be fabulous.
And finally, while it was a lot of stress and planning and stress, I'm glad I got married in a normal fashion and not in McDonalds...

Lost in a Forest...In love with the Greenery

Can't claim the title, it's from a classic song by Poor Old Lu and old favorite of mine. I've always been a sucker for witty lyrics. Okay, maybe not always. I've listened to plenty of drivel to be certain, not to mention all those songs that I even semi-sing along with, but haven't a clue what I'm saying, or what they're saying, or what it would mean even if I did understand what they're saying. It actually gets even funnier when you combine hard to decipher lyrics with non-native English speakers. The Corrs song "Leave me breathless" just might turn into "leave me Bradley"... you just never know.
But that's all quite beside the point. Like I said, I like those lines that make me think more deeply and spin me into thoughts of my own. Back in the day when I was an aspiring artistic e-mail writer, I enjoyed incorporating the lyrics of whatever I was listening to into my letters. I did cite them, no copywrite infringement or anything, but I found it odd how often they were able to express exactly what I was trying to say but somehow coming up short with.
So as I was sitting here in my parent's living room on a Sunday afternoon I had this line flutter into my head and realized it really does suit the mood of my recent days. I won't go into a full break down of all this song could mean, but more just how it hits me at the moment. Right now I sorta feel like I'm stuck in the midst of this sea of possibilities with no idea which way to turn or what to do or how to achieve ANY of it. I love the life I've been blessed to live, the experiences I've been able to have, all the trappings of what has come. But when I have to write out a resume I can see why people might balk a bit at wanting to employ me. My work experience is not only spread across the board of varieties, it's also spread across the globe. My transience is evident as my jobs go from CA to HK to OR to AK to CZ and here I am in ID. Come again? I've been able to experience so much that I'm not suited for anything in there here and now of every day real life.
The truth is, I would love to just be a novelist, to feel content spending hours typing away the ideas in my mind, knowing there was an audience out there chomping at the bit to read what I've come up with. But life is not predictable like that. So instead, I sit here stressing that I can't even get a fresh out of High School job because, in a sense, there's just too much to me.
I've been stateside for a little over four months now, and I've already hit the flee stage. This is where I start trying to figure out what I can do next to get mobile. I watch "House Hunters International" and dream of exotic locations. I have dreams about Hong Kong and the life I lived there, and I can hardly bring myself to even think of my pictures from Czech and the time I spent traipsing about Europe, hanging out in castles and cafes all chalk full of culture.
Then again, there's that part of me that's just begging to...dare I say the irritating word... nest (to be whispered in a hushed voice). I've been in an unsettled state of dwelling since July. And even before that my cozy world was invaded for the school year by a sort of monster that made it impossible to feel at home in my own home. I'm ready for a place where I can put my pictures on the walls, and organize my knickknacks from a life of world traveling and make my statement.
I need focus, balance, purpose, all those good things. I need (ugh) a job. Something to kick me out of the slump and re-energize me. After all, there are all these stories that need to be told, and I'm the one who's meant to tell them.