Feelings After Long Labor

There's nothing quite like the good ache your body experiences from a day of seriously hard labor. Right now mine is working off two days of intense digging, combined with a minor head cold that I'm really hoping will clear off before Wednesday when I head to Stockholm.
As I was pushing the wheelbarrow up the hill I found myself contemplating other times my body has really ached. I suppose the most dramatic would naturally be when I broke my back. Fortunately, young bodies mend pretty quickly, and by this point that horror is all just like a passing whimsy, almost something that didn't really happen to me.
I remember, too, the brief period when I tried out for basketball in high school. We ran stair laps around the gym and by the end of the first week of practices I was pretty sure my legs were just going to fall off. Unfortunately, with that experience, I never had the chance to discover what it would feel like to actually become acclimated to that sort of training. I soon learned that, despite the fact that we were told there would be a freshman team and no one would be cut, it was clearly more important to have lived in the community for a long time, because I was cut and a girl who never came to the pre-practices ended up on the team. Curious, and rather doubly painful. But this post is not about failures, but about a slow and tedious triumph.
Perhaps "triumph" is a bit premature at this stage. We still have quite a lot of work to do before this little episode is complete, but right now my body is telling me I've definitely achieved something.
So here is what our project looked like in the beginning. We're trying to clear the dirt out of what will eventually be the greenhouse at the garden spot.

We started this work last Thursday, and at the end of that day had managed to dig out about the amount of a small grave. Keep in mind that beside the digging we then have a decently long haul up a hill to the place we have to dump all this conglomeration of dirt and rocks, so it's definitely a lot of work.

On Saturday, a week and a half after the project was begun, we came back and attacked it again. This time we started in the morning and managed to do about this much more.


I added the picture of me in the hole to give you some idea of just how much dirt we're really talking here. I'm beginning to feel like we're digging out a swimming pool.
Saturday we worked doubly hard. After a short lunch break we came back and tackled the hole once again. It's seriously body numbing sort of work. Mark takes a couple of massive wheelbarrows full, and then I take a couple of baby loads just so he can have a bit of a break.

Sunday we were back at it in the afternoon. This time we rotated his dad in for hauling the wheelbarrows as well, and that helped so that we weren't over pushing our already aching bodies. It might be a bit hard to tell just how much more we managed to get done in these last pictures here, but we totally undercut the ground under our ramp, so it is now a much smaller island. I'm not quite sure how we'll manage when we don't have the dirt for the ramp and have to just shovel to the outside, but we'll see what we can manage.


It's actually Monday morning here now, but I really wanted to publish a blog on 10-10-10 before I ran out of time. Rather a magical date after all, isn't it?
After our long day of work Mark and I went out for dinner. We've found a place close by that is fairly cheap and they make a pretty tasty "Mexican Tortilla." It doesn't exactly taste like Mexican food, but it's not bad. So we went out and filled up after all the hard work, topping it off with yummy fried apple rings. Then we went for a walk under the stars. It was super clear and no moon so it felt like we could see forever. A perfect end to a long hard day. Glorious. Cold, but glorious :)

Closing the season

So I have some new pictures to put of the garden and also of Marianske Lazne in the fall, but I took some at the end of summer, before my trip to Germany, and I wanted to put these up as well.
I'm far from what anyone would ever call a gardener. Unlike my mother, playing in the dirt has never been something I found real joy in. Sure, I like pretty flowers as much as the next girl, and fresh fruits and veggies are pretty spectacular, but I don't know much about the process of creating them.
When I was growing up I had one plant that was mine. It was a funny long vined sort of things with short pokey green leaves that sprung out on all sides. I'm sure that Mom, again, would know what it was called, but I don't remember any more. I thought it was pretty special to have a plant that was mine, but I'm not sure I was ever the one who watered it. When I was older I moved on to Cacti. Definitely easier to keep up with. And I had several plants that stuck with me through my years in Czech. I did a lot better keeping them living than the bonsai tree I bought in HK that died within the week because I didn't realize the required daily watering. Although the pretty peace lily that Crystal gave me for my birthday my first year here acquired bugs that caused the flowers to stop producing until about the time that I passed the flower off to Karina. Ah well. It was fun while it lasted, and at least I didn't kill it.
I do remember Mom sometimes commissioning me to water the flowers in her beautiful flower boxes in Horse Creek. I'd sometimes help her weed for about five minutes, and I could only handle the watering because I knew there would be trouble if I didn't get it done. But, like I said before, it was far from being a passion of mine.
I've discovered, however, that what I do like is seeing the beauty in the garden and photographing it. Doesn't have to be done quite so often as weeding and watering, and has a more lasting result. So, without further ado, I give you some pictures of the garden in late August.




As you can no doubt tell, I had trouble deciding which of the photos was the best. So I just put them all in pretty much. I was fascinated by the grape vines and also the apple trees. Everything so fresh and green and growing. Love it!




The cottage continues to progress as well. Mark and I went to help out with it on Thursday last week and I was impressed by how much it is changing. I'll be sure to put up some more photos when I move on to the fall photo shoot next time :) Until then, I'm dreaming of warmer weather and trying to survive the chill. See, I sent all my sweaters to the states already, and don't really have the room to go and buy any new ones...such is life.

Paused in Transit

I'm sitting in between two worlds now. There is the strange space of time in which nothing concrete seems to exist. It's not just that I'm unemployed. It's that I'm poised on the verge and not really certain when play is going to be resumed. In the meantime, I want to keep living. To find ways to really exist in this space between.
I realize I have yet to actually finish talking about my visit with Julie. There are some things I really want to post about from that time, so I'm not quite ready to give up on it just yet, but I thought it'd be wise to do a little flash forward and take care of some more recent events first.
After Julie left the end of school really kicked into gear. The last month of school is generally my favorite. Of course this year it was mixed with crazy nostalgia as I realized it was really the end. Always before I knew I'd be back in September for another round. True, the daily students are always new, but just knowing we'll all continue to breath Czech air made it easier. This year, everything was coming to an end. Not only my time at Winfield, but everyone's time there. Winfield itself will cease to exist. What will remain will be split in two between two different schools, and nothing of what has been my home will remain. The hardest part for me is knowing that, not only will I be out of their lives, there will be no new ESI teacher coming. The general ESI model is set up so that we're all just links in a chain of influence. We can pass over the students we've prayed for and done our best to share our lives with to someone else who will come in and continue caring about them. But this time, that's just over, and that has added a fresh pain to this goodbye. Not wanting to allow myself to get overly emotional just now, I'll do my best to move on and just share some of the events of this past month.
It's kind of funny because I posted 7 times I think in the month of June, and yet basically none of those posts have anything to do with what was happening in that month itself. And believe me, it was a busy time indeed.
On a personal note, I spent a lot of my weekends doing some crazy hard work in the garden with Mark. There was a massive pile of dirt and rocks that needed to be shoveled into a wheelbarrow and hauled to a new location where it was dumped over a steep wooded bank. Here is a view of the hill after we'd already worked on it for at least 4 hours:

Let's just say that by the time we got it to look like this:

I'd earned ice cream on several occasions. It was a serious job, and now I'm just curious what Mark's dad will come up with for us to do next.
My favorite memory from the time spent working there was when we got to enjoy some tasty treats from the garden. Throughout the time there I was instructed multiple times to pick strawberries, but I usually only had time to eat one or two in the midst of work. At the end of the day, however, we had some time to just pick and enjoy. I'd gathered quite a few for myself, then Mark came over with a brimming handful and added them to what I already had saying I should just eat them all. I had nothing to put them in, so there really was no other choice. As Mark wound his way through the pea patch, filling his mouth with the sweet green vegetables, I sat with a handful of sun warmed strawberries, letting the hot juice sit inside my mouth as I slowly chewed each one. Unforgettable sort of moment.
In June we also had our end of the year retreat. We went to Konopiste, a castle not far from Prague. We didn't go on a tour inside the castle, but we enjoyed views from outside. True to usual form, I went on early morning walks alone (okay, this is typical Sarah behavior only on retreats when I generally end up "sleeping" on really hard beds and therefore give up before most people are ready to get up) so I had a lovely view of the castle all by myself. I'd heard that we were located literally in the parking lot of the castle, but wasn't sure exactly where it was at. I went on this walk around the lake and watched all the early morning fishers who had no doubt been out for quite a long time already by 7 AM when I was making my rounds. It wasn't until the walk back that I got a view of the actual castle, but I was quite impressed.

Later on we had more chances to explore, and I got some more lovely shots throughout the weekend.




It was pretty strange knowing that this was to be my last ESI event. After three years these events have just become something that I count on happening, and now they're over. The fact that I'm not likely to see most of those people ever again is quite strange, but at the same time part of the usual pattern of my transient life.
The end of the year is my favorite because this is when we get to just let loose and have fun with the students. There were day trips to Jesenice where we played beach volleyball for hours, a fact my right arm continued to remind me of for some time, seeing as how I don't serve very often in my regular life. There were also classes outside where we were able to sit and talk and just enjoy time spent together. Sadly a lot of students weren't around any more at the end of the year so most of these final classes were small, but it's quality, not quantity that counts, and I fully enjoyed every chance I had to get to know these amazing people a little bit better.
It all felt a bit odd, however, knowing that even though I'm done with my job, and moving on to something new, I'm not actually leaving the country just yet. Generally speaking, I leave the country as soon as the school year is over, but this year I find myself still here, waiting around to find out what will be next. All the same, I doubt that I'll see many of my students again. So we're not so far apart, and yet it's still over. Just strange.
The final Winfield party was part end of the year party and part a tribute to all Jarmila has done throughout her ten years as the manager of Winfield. It is so hard to believe that she's really finished with it, and yet I'm thankful she'll have a bit of a break after so many years of work there. It was a lot of fun, and despite the crazy thunder storm in the afternoon, the skies did clear and we were able to have it outside at Krajinka as planned.


After school was officially over I had a few days to work on pulling things together before my next move. Tammy put together a very nice party that I was able to invite friends and colleagues to, so that was fun. Always nice to have an excuse to dress up every now and then. It was a good way to end my time in Cheb as well.


On Thursday last week, that would be July 1st, I finalized all my packing up and Mark and his dad came to move me to their place in Marianske Lazne. So for the past week now I've been working on adjusting to my new life here in transit. We're still waiting and waiting and waiting for information on the visa situation, and in the meantime trying to really enjoy this time we have together. We're not sure what all we'll be able to do this summer, but I'm looking forward to having this time for us to really get to know each other better as we prepare for what God has in store for our futures.

A good ache

For a couple hours yesterday and several hours this morning I joined Mark at his parents cottage/garden. It's a work in progress and we were helping them move piles of rock and dirt from one place to another. Sounds simple enough, but it was pretty serious. Brought back memories of trying to create a yard from a hillside at Mom and Dad's place a couple summers ago. I've a feeling I'm going to sleep REEEEALLLLYYY well tonight. There's nothing like some seriously hard work to make me feel like I've accomplished something. Even if the pile did seem to be eternally growing bigger, rather than shrinking, it was so fulfilling to know that I was making progress.
I really wish more things in life were like that. That you could actually see the progress you're making. That everything you're doing would look like it counts for something. Sometimes, when Mark was pushing the wheelbarrow and I was alone by the pile, I would attack it with a spade to loosen things up. When he would come back it would almost look as though all the work we'd been doing was for nothing. The loosened dirt would completely fill the space we'd just cleaned out, but as we kept out it we could tell we really were helping out the situation, cleaning things up. Sadly life isn't really like that. We can clean one day and three days later it's as though we'd never done a thing. We can reach out to people over and over, and find that they are still just as resistant to our help or friendship. So often it feels as though nothing we do really has any impact on those around us at all.
I was listening to a pod cast from my church in Hong Kong yesterday and the message was about taking time out to listen to what God is saying to us. I know that I often end up making my life so busy that I don't take the time to really listen to what He's saying, to see the situations around me where I can be making more of a difference. She said also how, when we want to reach out to people it's easy to see the sheer number of people who need love, who need a savior, and to be overwhelmed by it all. And when we look out and see how much there is to do, like when we see the mountain that just keeps growing rather than shrinking, it's easy to become so exhausted that we quit trying all together. A better way to do it is to think of one person, or maybe two, and to really concentrate on them. To see what God is asking us to do to make their lives better, and to meet them where they are. I can't expect them to be comfortable in the same places where I am comfortable, but must honestly reach out to them in their own places of need. It encouraged me. Sometimes I find myself wondering what purpose I'm really serving here in the Czech Republic. Am I really serving the people God is bringing into my life? That's the question.
So tonight, I'm going to sleep well. In the morning I'll wake up with that good ache. The one that says I've done something productive. And as I take each pain filled step I want to be thinking of how I can reach out to that person or two, how I can meet them where they are and make a difference. It might not be huge, I might not see the mountain move, but all I can do is listen to God's voice and do my best to follow where He leads me.